September 30

I have been laying in a bed for 7 days straight. 7 days ago, I went into the ER being told from BYU's urgent care that my IUD couldn't be found and that is why I had cramping and bleeding- it's probably lodged into my right fallopian tube. Turned out that was false and that the problem was that I was pregnant, probably between 1-2 months, and that the baby had grown too big to be in the fallopian tube because by that time, naturally, the baby was supposed to be in the uterus. So my tube ruptured. The blood from the tube was floating around my belly. After 5 hours of waiting & wondering & wishing & hoping, I was rushed into emergency surgery and came out of it 2 hours later without a tube or IUD. They call this pregnancy I had a tubal pregnancy, or ectopic pregnancy. Mine just bursted, making things a little more risky. If they had left the tube in, just repairing it, there are good chances that it would happen every time I got pregnant, in that same tube.

Some facts from this whole week:
1. One month ago, I knew I was pregnant. I was nauseous. Unbearably nauseous. I would have the most amazing meal ready for me to eat...and by the 3rd bite I would have to scrap it off my tongue with a napkin and throw it away before I continued to gag. I did this for just about every meal, and most days I didn't even bother trying with breakfast. Eating was hard for about 2.5 weeks and then it subsided. It would happen maybe once every 3 days after that. I have taken pregnancy tests before, but this time, I really talked myself into thinking I was pregnant, that I couldn't handle the heartache when I saw the negative sign. So I never took it.
2. HCG levels were only at 899 so a home pregnancy test wouldn't have been able to detect. Only a blood test.
3. This Ectopic pregnancy was NOT caused by my IUD. It just didn't prevent it. I guess now we know that we are fertile people, right?
4. I will have future healthy pregnancies, as long as I go get this certain shot before, and if they see that I am pregnant early enough. They said they'd give me special treatment because I only have one tube. So that makes me feel better. Anytime I think I may be pregnant, I need to go get my blood drawn to detect it. Then they'll find out. They said they'd do that hundreds of times for me.
5. They didn't do a D&C in the surgery.
6. Our blood types put together are what may have caused this ectopic pregnancy.

We are devastated about our poor baby that didn't get a chance to enjoy life in my tummy and devastated that we didn't get a chance to know about it. This has opened our eyes a lot about how fragile life is. It was a blessing and a big trial put into one. We are grateful we found out we were pregnant the same minute we found out about the dangers of this happening and having to rush to surgery because I don't think we would have handled it the same if we knew for a few weeks that we were actually pregnant.

We just keep saying to each other that we are one step closer to having a baby and that makes laying in bed for 14 days straight that much better.