Sep 1, 2010

Venting time.

Since this blog has replaced my handwritten journal, all I could think about was making a post on here to let out my thoughts.

School. I was not meant for school. I came to this earth to live and get a body. Going to school makes me feel like I don't have a body of my own and I am merely living in a prison. Can anyone relate? There are so many rules that I can't express myself. Studying art isn't as glamorous as people would imagine. I am frustrated with the system, the administration, the professors and their lack of sympathy for you when you tell them you CANNOT stay until fall next semester. I have this teacher that I thought really liked me and cared about my mental state of mind, but I was lied to this entire time and he really couldn't care less. No matter how many times I cry to his face, email him, go to his class that he's not allowing me to take (to graduate and be done with this school), he will not budge. I secretly think it's because he thinks I'm not pushing myself and conforming to modern day mormon life and moving away quickly to start my life and getting rid of education. Little does he know, that my canteen of BYU education is filled to the brim. I am suffocating from drinking too much of it. But I WILL stick it out for two more semesters, but anymore than that, I think I might just drop out and pretend like the last four years never happened.

7 comments:

bear said...

Hang in there Elise! It's everything you said, but the degree that comes with it will be worth it!

m.estelle said...

here here

Ben + Amanda said...

we need to talk

Artsdeco said...

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kaneischa said...

Sister, I am right there with you. This is exactly why I have a hard time staying in school..u.the difference is that you have pushed through it and been much braver about it.

You are nearly there, girl. Something will work out for you...it always does :)

Kelsie Lynn said...

oh gosh. i completely agree.
(hey :)) I also go to BYU but am from australia. went back for the summer and am now deferring until christmas which wasnt the plan.
Thing is, its just so hard for me to go back to school. soo hard. I love what I do (film) but ..school is just forever about handing in papers and getting all thse numbers and letters back that in the end really dont amount to much.

All at the same time though, I can feel so inspired and love learning as well. The film program has got some pretty freakin great professors. its quite insane really.
but knowing that I still need to take physical science makes me physically sick.

good luck this semester :)

Natalie said...

i agree too!!! remember when you texted me and asked what i would do if we couldn't get into that class? i just told you i would drop out!!!
i am right there with you!!