Dec 28, 2010

Today

I don't have pictures just yet to post about our wonderful Christmas here in California. In fact, I am exhausted of photographing. Mentally and physically, I can't take photos in this current time. When I say that I mean just today. I could probably pick up a camera tomorrow if I don't pick up one today. I also can't edit photos that I aren't for clients. I have been in client mode for a solid 4 years now, that I really just can't make time for my own photos! It's really upsetting me and hopefully I can get out of that soon. I'm sure once I graduate, I'll be able to spend more time with clients and more time for myself..which will be a change.

The past two months have been the busiest I have ever been. With clients and deadlines and school..it was unreal. Oh then to add the holidays. The parties and the dinners. If anyone knows me well, they know how much I LOVE to give gifts..so I had to make each gift for each person as special as possible. I loved doing it, but that just added to my agenda.

What occupies my mind now, before Winter 2011 starts, is "how on earth am I going to do another semester at BYU?" It's really because I have 7 classes to take on campus and that frightens me to pieces. But I am so close to being done that I can't just wait a while to finish. I HAVE to finish in April or somehow I will go crazy. Even if going to school will make me crazy.

I'm ready to live in California. I am tired of coming here to visit and feeling like I have to surf every second I can before my flight back... or see everyone I can or take as many pictures of my family as possible because I won't see them for 3+ months.

But I'm not ready to leave the people we love in Utah. We have the greatest friends you could ever want. Not the kind that are obligated to call you because of the "friend" title, but the kind you see on a daily basis because you just can't not see them. You love them too much. I will really miss that. Hopefully we can find time once we're here to visit up in Utah.. and maybe they'll be able to visit here as well. It's going to be a hard leap all together. Not knowing right now where Drew is going to work is a whole situation in itself.. then where Drew's work is actually located...so we could then decide where to set up shop is another stress. THEN...then then then. There's lots of those these days that my mind is going to explode. It's all I think about. Then there is leaving those dearly loved friends and family. I mean how do you just make such a change? I just pray it will all work out. We're not just going to sit around and hope it works out. We are workers and will work everyday until we are satisfied with where we are.. but sometimes I wish I could just see into the future just so I can get a good nights rest.

Christmas time is usually the time I decide to give "thanks" rather than Thanksgiving time. Well, that's just usually when I notice I am more grateful than any other time of the year. Drew & I have been able to think back on this year and really notice our blessings. We have had a really good year. 2010 helped us grow in so many ways I never thought would be possible. We are better people and greater lovers than we were in 2009. We know each other more than anyone else knows us and everyday it gets better and better. Sometimes I just want to stop time and just be with him and no one else or have to do anything else.. and that is a sweet memory I will hold on to as our lives change these next few years. Although sometimes we feel we are weak and can't handle another-big-happenstance... we are positive that we are strong and can get through anything, as long as we're together.

1 comment:

ladaisi said...

Here's to hoping the New Year brings you a much needed rest!

Take care of yourself.

- Lauren

Ladaisi Blog